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Ira

from Saudade by GIO

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lyrics

The last time I saw An Ton she was leaving Dulles airport with her girlfriend.
They had camping gear and bags strapped on their backs and they asked me if I’d please take a photo of them.
I had spoken with An a few times before about drugs and what it’s like in Massachusetts. She liked to play guitar and had a pretty voice, and I could tell her girlfriend Stacey really loved her.

An passed away on February 5th. I didn’t really know how it made me feel. I thought long about the presence that she had left, and how it was her beanie and glasses that stay with me still.

She was the first person I’d known who’d died, the whole thing left a chill in my bones. I tried talking to Stacey but she said that it’d probably be best to just leave her alone.

The last time I saw Paul Kim we were smoking cigarettes outside my room, sitting on a bench just us two. Talking about old friends and the things that we’d do.

Paul was the first friend I’d made at school, he had dark black hair and was a quiet kid. I’d see him all the time in the hallways, he’d invite me to sit and eat with all his friends.

Paul never came back from winter break, he died from complications following surgery. It never felt the same when I got back, I’d still hear echoes of his voice down the hall.

Oh Paul, though I’d only known you for a few weeks the entire time you were nothing but a friend to me.

The last time I saw my friend Ben we were in my basement watching shows, laughing at some cartoons on Adult Swim and just fucking around until 3 AM.

I’d known him since high school, his voice was deep. He owned a t-shirt of the Beatles (it was A Hard Day’s Night) and he’d wear it each week and godammit I miss him.

The first time I met Ben Stoyen we were seeing a movie with a mutual friend. He’d lean over to me and make me lose my shit with his jokes and observations on the film. There aren’t enough verses in the world to do any justice by him. He’d want to pick me up when I was feeling low, I’d never once asked him to be so kind, he was always just that kind of guy and I promise to keep him forever on my mind.

Ben passed away on April 21st. I didn’t hear until weeks after the fact. Some friend was I to poor Ben, he’d been in the ground for two weeks and the guilt has never left my mind. As I lay pink daisies at this grave the only thing that stood between us was dirt.

He was one of the greatest guys I’d ever meet and I’m proud to say he was one of my closest friends.

Oh Ben, I love you. Don’t worry because you’ll never leave my side again.

credits

from Saudade, released May 24, 2016

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GIO Boston, Massachusetts

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